Although reading the next short story can prevent you from suffering severe pain and humiliation, it portraits hard to swallow graphic imaginary descriptions. Reader discretion is advised. Saying that, we're ready to rumble:
When I finally finished my business and opened the door, I was amazed to see so many people (with unsatisfied faces) waiting in line to get in. How was I supposed to know that high altitude combined with murky flight meals causes severe constipation (or as I prefer to call it a stuck "turtle head")?! Besides, it's not my fault the Bulgarian plane (if you can call it that) had only one toilet working. Unfortunately the plane also had an extremely narrow passageway which made the "walk of shame" even worse as I had to look in the eyes of every person waiting in line (and I can assure you they didn't look very friendly) and if that's not enough, just as I was finishing "the walk" my son saw me coming from a distance and had to shout "Dad, how long does it take to crap?!". That's about as close as I ever got to open the emergency exit in the middle of a flight!